Healthy relationships
Key information this page includes:
Bonding with your child
Making sure you have a strong bond with your child when they are between 8 and 19 is really important to their emotional and social development. The best way to help grow and keep this bond is to spend time with your child and engage with them in the activities that they enjoy. Listen to your child and be interested in what they are interested in and what they have to say. This will help establish trust and respect with your maturing child, and encourage open communication.
Encouraging your child to read more will help them with their literacy skills and provide opportunities for engaging conversations and learning. Make sure you are praising your child’s efforts and achievements, as this will help them grow their self-esteem and further grow the bond you have. Spending time outside will help grow the bond too because the rules for inside the house don’t apply in the park, and they can run and shout and you can do it with them.
Sibling relationships
As your children grow up, it’s very important for them to keep good relationships with their siblings. Helping them bond with each other is just as important as your bond with them. Teach them how to solve problems and show them positive behaviour and good communication. This will help your child have strong and healthy relationships.
Bullying
Bullying is intentional behaviour that hurts someone else. It includes name calling, hitting, pushing, spreading rumours, threatening or undermining someone. It can happen anywhere – at school, at home or online. It's usually repeated over a long period of time and can hurt a child both physically and emotionally. If you think they are being bullied, make sure you create a safe space where your child feels comfortable talking to someone about what is happening, this could be you, a family member, a teacher or another trusted adult. For more information on types of bullying, signs of bullying and advice on how to support your child through the experience of bullying please follow this link: Helping Children Deal with Bullying & Cyberbullying | NSPCC
Developing new relationships
As children get older they begin to develop stronger and more independent relationships. They may start to realise that some relationships and situations can have an impact on the way they feel.
You can support your child to develop healthy relationships by:
- Helping them understand that everyone is unique and encouraging them to be themselves.
- Praise children for being honest, kind, and respectful of others.
- Give children opportunities to share their opinions and encourage them to listen to other people’s views.
- Help children understand that “no” means “no” and make sure they know who to talk to if they are ever uncomfortable with something they have been asked to do.
- Help children to work out problems and disagreements. Help them understand how others might be affected by things they have done or said.
- Talk to children about bullying in all its forms and make sure they know how to get help if they need it
In the teenage years, children and young people may begin to have more intense and intimate relationships.
You can help them deal with these new experiences. Make sure they know what to do if a relationship or situation makes them feel uncomfortable, or if they’re worried about someone else.
You can support your teenager to develop healthy relationships by:
- Encouraging young people to be proud of what makes them a unique individual.
- Encouraging your child to talk to other young people about their experiences, so that they can support each other.
- Talk about relationships in films, books or the media. Ask young people which aspects they think are healthy or unhealthy, for example independence or control. Talk about the way relationships happen online as well as offline.
- As young people get older, talk to them about safe sex and consent.
Consent
It is important to talk to your child about consent, you can teach your child at a young age that their body is their body and that nobody is allowed to do anything to them that they don’t like. Children learn how to relate and interact with other people from observing everyone around them and that is especially important when it comes to healthy relationship boundaries.
Teaching your child what consent means from a young age will help them to understand healthy relationships as a teenager.
Let you child make their own choices, it’s important to teach your child that their body belongs to them and it’s their choice what they do with it. This will also help them to understand that other people make choices about their own bodies and we all should respect that.
For more information about how to talk to your child about consent, please follow this link How to teach your young child about consent - body autonomy (actionforchildren.org.uk)
As your teen grows, you can be there to help them work through different situations or challenges. Talking to them about relationships and consent will help them understand how to take care of themselves and others.
Remember that your child may not always feel like talking or opening up. Be patient and make sure they know they can speak to you about anything.
For more information and support on talking to your teen about consent please follow this link Talk to teenagers about healthy relationships and consent (actionforchildren.org.uk)
Support for separated/separating parents
If you are separated from your child’s other parent, it’s still important for both of you to be involved in your child’s life. Try to keep an open and honest relationship with each other so you can communicate well and do what’s best for your child.
Having clear routines is important if your child is spending time in different homes, as it helps them feel loved and supported by both parents. If your separation wasn’t easy and you aren’t on good terms, it might be helpful to get support, like counselling.
Protective parenting
Protective parenting means protecting your children from harm or abuse in any form. This abuse could be physical, emotional or sexual, and protective parenting is important in reducing the risks facing children. The setting that a child is raised in can be assessed for risks and abusers can be identified. You can find out about protective parenting here: There is hope: How protective parenting assessments and interventions help protect children (lucyfaithfull.org.uk). If you are concerned about your own child, or any child, you can call the Children's advice and duty service (CHAD) on 01782 235100 (Monday to Friday 8.30am to 6pm). If you need to contact us out of hours, then please call our emergency duty team on 01782 234234. Concerned about a child in Stoke-on-Trent | Concerned about a child in Stoke-on-Trent | Stoke-on-Trent