Education

Bonding and attachment

The first 1001 days of a child's life are key to their development. A child's interaction with their parents or carers in that time shapes their physical development, communication and personal, social, and emotional development. There are lots of things you can do with your child to help them grow and develop into lifelong learners.

Babies like to be close to their parents and carers. This helps them to feel safe, loved and happy, all of this helps with their development.

If you give your baby responsive care and lots of attention, it will help them manage their feelings and have safe and healthy relationships in the future. This is called a secure attachment. Spending time together and getting to know each other is the perfect way to help your relationship grow and build a strong and close bond.

Skin-to-skin contact

Skin-to-skin contact means holding your baby naked against your skin, usually under your top or under a blanket. During skin-to-skin contact your baby will be able to hear your heartbeat and your voice. This helps them to relax and feel calm.

Skin-to-skin contact also helps to:

• Keep your baby’s temperature, breathing and heart beat consistent
• Boost milk supply and help your baby’s natural feeding instincts
• Develop the loving bond between a baby and their parents and carers
• Release the hormone oxytocin this makes babies and parents and carers feel good
• Strengthens a baby's immunity to infections

Hold your baby

Hold your baby as much as you can (in your arms or in a sling). When you cuddle your baby, they feel safe and loved, building on that bond between you both. You cannot spoil a baby, with ‘too much’ cuddling – it is what they need.

Eye contact

Making eye contact with your baby can help you bond.

New-born babies can see, but their vision is blurred and they cannot see colours very well. Your baby will be best able to focus on things that are close to them, such as your face. They will also prefer objects that have high contrast colours, such as black and white patterns.

By the time your baby is 2 weeks old their eyes will be able to follow your face. Giving them plenty of eye contact, and lots of smiles, will help them learn to recognise you.

Talking with your baby

One of the key things you can do with your baby is hold them close and talk to them calmly, each day, as often as you can. Chat about what you are doing, and what is around you.

You can try reading a book or sing, which really helps them tune in to the rhythm of words. At some point, your baby will start making sounds and gurgling back at you. Saying the sounds your baby makes back to them teaches your baby useful lessons about listening and taking turns when talking.

What if I'm not bonding with my baby?

Some parents fall in love with their babies from the moment of birth. Others find that their love grows slowly over the first few weeks as they get to know them. Both are completely normal.

Difficulty bonding with your baby could be a sign of a mental health issue, such as postnatal depression or postnatal anxiety. Read more about mental health here.

Many new parents find it hard to talk about any negative feelings after having a baby because they feel under pressure to be happy.

But you are not alone if you are feeling low. Life with a new-born is often hard and tiring. Many women and birthing people develop mental health issues such as depression or anxiety during pregnancy or in the first year after childbirth. Call in to your local Family Hub, talk to your midwife, health visitor or GP about how you are feeling. They will be able to offer you help and support, without judgement.

Dads and partners can be affected too and there is support available.

Developing the home learning environment

Playing is the best way for your child to learn. Children can practise important skills through play, that will help them learn. A child’s language development begins long before they start school and is shaped by the people and places in their lives – their home learning environment.

Here are some ideas for playing and interacting with your baby:

• Singing - babies love the sound of your voice (no matter how you sound), sing nursery rhymes, or make your own songs up.
• Chatting - describe the things around you, tell your baby what you are doing, say nursery rhymes or tell stories. It doesn’t matter what you talk about, it all helps to develop their communication skills.
• Clapping - clap your hands and their hands together. It’s great when your baby can clap by themselves, they will enjoy showing off their new skill. Clapping uses lots of different skills e.g. muscle control, fine motor skills and hand – eye co-ordination.
• Dancing - put some music on and dance with your baby in your arms. Most babies love gentle rocking and being close to you. Dancing with your baby is great for their emotional development.
• Playing with toys - encourage your child to reach for, push and pull their toys. This helps to improve their co-ordination and motor skills.

Supporting the home learning environment - EasyPeasy app

Families in Stoke-on-Trent can access the EasyPeasy app for free.

The app brings together the best ideas, advice, and inspiration from our community of parents, experts, and parenting brands supporting parents and their 0-5 year olds during the crucial early years. It is designed to help you create the playful, positive connections that will help your child grow and thrive, with everyday materials that you’ll already have access to at home. To download the EasyPeasy app visit easypeasyapp.