Social interaction skills
Key information this page includes:
Developing social skills
Your child’s social skills start to develop from a very young age. Its helpful for them if you guide them in how they should interact with different people.
Developing their social skills will help your child understand other people’s feelings and help them develop positive relationships. Below are some ideas to help them develop good social skills:
- Play games and sings songs that your child can join in with to teach them how to share and follow rules
- Read books and tell stories with a quiet voice to teach them about when to be quiet and to be loud
- Help your toddler find something that they have lost to teach them about working together
- Look at photographs of them and their family and friends to teach them who important people in their life are
- Play games that teach them how to take turns
- Pass things back and forth with them and use “please” and “thank you” to teach them good manners
Types of play
As your toddler learns more and becomes more sociable with other children, you will notice that the way they play changes. These changes follow a pattern. This pattern is:
- Solitary play – when they are very young they will play alone, but you might see them watching other children play and copy the ways that they are playing. They may become possessive of the toys that they are playing with and may show aggression towards other babies for no clear reason.
- Onlooker play – toddlers will watch other children play, but they may not able to join in properly, however when they are alone they may copy what they saw other children doing.
- Parallel play – when your child is around 2 years old, they are more likely to start playing in the company of other children. They will make short interactions with the other children however they will still play alone. This is where they start learning skills about sharing as they may try to take toys from other children who will be upset when their toy is taken.
- Associative play – when your child is 3, they will be able to play with other children with shared toys but they might not be able to play the exact same thing. They may be using the same things but will probably not have a shared understanding of what they are doing with them.
- Cooperative play – when your child is a little older and nearing school age, they will be able to share and play with other children and solve problems. They should be able to recognise the needs of other children and they will be able to play with them with a shared understanding of what they are doing.
Shyness
It can take a long time for children to start playing together. They may be experiencing separation anxiety from being away from their parents and may be shy around other children and in social situations.
It can make them uncomfortable if you try and make your child engage with other children if they don’t actively want to, but you can help them with their social development. There are a few things you can do to help them, these include:
- Joining a toddler group where your toddler can see other toddlers playing
- Slowly introducing your child to other children, but don’t force them to get involved until they are ready
- Make sure that there are objects and toys that your child knows and likes so that they have something familiar around when they are in new situations
- Encourage them to try and make just one friend. This will give them confidence in social settings.
- Keep organised playtime with other children short so that your child doesn’t get overwhelmed by how much time they are spending with new people.
Social milestones
Social development starts at birth and continues through their childhood, it is highly linked to their emotional development. Different children develop at different rates so if your child is not showing that they have reached a milestone it is not a sign that they have a developmental disorder. Common milestones for social development include:
1-2 years old:
When your child is 1 year old they will be shy around people that they do not recognise and a fear of strangers is common however when they are nearly 2 this shyness may start to go away. As they start to walk they will want to explore and engage with other people and copy the actions of other children.
2-3 years old
Two-year old children are often self-centred but they still want to help other people. By the time that they turn 3 they will be able to understand the feelings of other people. At this age they will enjoy being with other children and will interact with them and if they are taking turns playing they will be able to wait to take their turn for a short time. Pretend play will become a large part of their play with other children and they will share their ideas with their friends.